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Thursday, September 20, 2007

feeling v. emo and pissed now.
thnks to some hci guy and some riverside guy.
dun feel like mentioning what happened.
but all I want to say is nth comes out of being a gd fren to a guy.
cos when they find their other half,
you're no longer their fren.

I seriously dun believe that anyone should joke abt suicide.
but they will nvr understand how worried I was that I might lose a fren.
they will nvr understand that what I said was what I really felt.
and they will nvr know all these cos they'll nvr read this blog.

and I shall tell everyone who wants to commit suicide and happens to read this post:

1. before you kill urself, think abt what will happen to ur frens, ur relatives and ur parents.
(esp if you are only child.)

2. even if you think they dun care abt you; or the whole fucking world seems to hate you, it's not true. there is someone sitting behind this computer screen caring abt you cos you're most prob a fren if you even read my blog.

3. if you really want to die, pls consider how you want to die. cos slitting is slow and painful, hanging is scary, jumping is worst cos you might regret in the few secs that you are in the air falling to the ground, drowning makes you look v. ugly, and also slow death, "fake" accident very pain. so yea. think abt it.

4. the world is a much much brighter place with some optimism. think of sth that you experienced that is very very happy, and think of how you can relive it, and go do it again.

5. in short, cherish your life. there is like millions of ppl struggling to live and here you are with a perfectly good life and you are throwing it away.

so yea, if you wanna die, dun come looking for me.
in fact, dun even tell me you wanna commit suicide.
cos it'll make me feel that it's my fault that you're dead.
cos I didn't manage to persuade you not to die.
so stop making me seem like some kind of handy counseller/psychologist or whatever that you can just play a prank on.

matters of life and death aren't supposed to be joked abt.
what if you suddenly die in some accident in the near future?
will you regret abt things you have done?
will you want to live your life in a much better way, rather than wasting it?
will you wish that you had done sth nice for everyone you knew when you were alive?

so read my post again and rethink whether you want to die or not.
cos I dun want anyone to be making me persuade them to die or not.
if you wanna die, go die. it's ur choice. not mine.
if you regret it, too bad.
just don't blame it on others.
when you die,
don't say that you were forced by the circumstances;
or that my life doesn't matter anymore.
cos those are just excuses.
the real reason is that you feel that life has no more meaning to you and you want to end it.
but the truth is, it's not true.
there is a meaning to every life.
maybe not now, but in the future.

and don't say that everything I typed is just crap cos I nvr wanted to commit suicide before,
but the thing is, I did.
There was this period in p5,p6 where I so wanted to die,
but I didn't give up.
cos of the 5 reasons I listed above.
so cherish your life.
it doesn't last forever.

and to the 2 guys above, you 2 can die all you want.

I won't go to your funerals,
I won't cry.
cos you aren't my fren anymore.

what we could have been, 8:54 PM.

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CHRISTINE(:
Edward Cullen
turns older on 18 October
and is currently studying at DHS :D
Child of God
& ♥s her CG (LOL of WEFC)

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LOVES:
HIM
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Edward Cullen
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