there's something about being alone at home that makes me claustrophobic.
and i have no idea why.
maybe cos i'll have too much time to think.
hm.
shall play sims 2 now ._.

i have decided to stop reading fangirl posts of edward cullen because they make me jealous.
._.
i'd rather i live in my own happy imagination instead of having other peoples' infesting in my head.
gosh.
i think i have OCD.
or maybe just going abit crazy due to the fact that i'll be missing my twilight movie days.
hm.
at least it lets me escape from the world for a while.

you have no idea how much i desire it...

i guess life has its own way of tiring people out.

we never wanted to hope;
knowing that hoping would only bringing more pain when it doesn't go in the desired direction.
but yet,
it happens, subconciously.
and somehow,
the pain only gets worst when we realise that we've succumbed to this subconcious hope;
like we've betrayed our wills,
and stepped on a path we never knew we were taking.
like we were lost.

yet,
this hope that infests in us,
heals us as it harms us.
slowly,
but definitely,
the very same hope builds us up,
from what it tore down.
we'll be built better;
but that would mean a worst fall in the future.
a vicious cycle.
like the conquering of a nation:
war and killing,
then the rebuilding in hope of a better one.

just like the calm before the storm -
silent, peaceful and comforting, even,
but yet,
it brings about an ominous feeling:
the sense that something bad is going to happen,
but you can't help liking it,
and thus dismiss the bad thought.
then the storm happens,
and you start to blame yourself for being so stupid,
to actually think that that calm feeling would last.
however,
when the rain stops,
and the world gets lighted up in its glorious colours,
you'll see that the hope that things were good was never given up,
just buried under other human feelings.

but what happens when you don't heal?
when you never find the path that you conciously chose;
when the war never stops, and the killing continues;
when the world never orbitted the same way it did;
when hope has taken so much away from you,
that you don't even realise what's happening anymore.
when hope has killed you internally; your soul,
what happens to your broken body?

what happens when hope has tired you so much,
that dying doesn't sound that bad anymore?

i screwed my life up [fullstop]
-
hm.
last day of sch was pretty sad?
cried when i saw jiaying cry /:
(yes, xl, i know ._.)
and then couldnt stop crying.
and uh.
smp is fucked.
in short.
-
ty to xl,
for being online all the way with me,
and waiting for me to quit sims 2 to talk to him.
haha.
and screamo music isn't always for me,
so take it slow haha.
anw.
love like winter is <3>i'll always love cresmic yeah?
amanda+angshuang+christine+alina+
huijun+jiaying+jiamin+yunen+kellie+
wanki+dionis+zhenting+natasha+pearl+
shenjing+sophin+jiaqi+huiting+vivian+
vivienne+wangqi+jengteng+wuyue+yiming+
xinyan+wenlin+gavin+shaun+isaac+
justin+junkai+yichen+melvin+mervyn+
jinzhi+wangcong
= fun+laughter<3

i suddenly want to get sth for my clique /:
i guess the leaving blues are coming to me now.
it's like we met abt 1 1/2 years ago as strangers...
-
i still remember the day 1/6 of cresmic was formed.
and the first conversation i had with pearl and amanda
(OH! i know this song, it's P!ATD)
and the way Kellie somehow made her way into our lives with her pureness
(huh? i don't get it. what's so funny about steaming?)
and the amusing quarrels that we always have.
-
then near the year end,
we started hanging out with HuiJun, Jiamin and Jiaying.
and thus started teasing jiamin/laughing at huijun/idk, talk abt books with jiaying?
(lol)
and there's vivian,
and her spastic reactions and chimness in language.
(and BBC voice when making announcements.)
haha.
-
i'll miss you all like crazy when we split classes next year /:
i'll miss amanda's retardedness haha.
and huijun's slowness
and their teasing of jiamin,
and jiamin spacing out,
and me and pearl trying to take pictures of them,
and vivian's linguistic levels and spasticness,
and kellie's ability to shop like crazy with me and listen to me whining,
and talking to jiaying about random stuff to forget stuff. (haha)
and going out with you all to wreck things (esp art friends)
and flipping through beauty manuals in kino,
and laughing at celebs on mags,
and forgetting what we want to say,
and teasing pearl (i nvr said anything x:)
and shopping with pearl,
and watching movies with huijun the director who knows everything that happens,
and playing HOTD4 with Pearl,
and dragging amanda to take neoprints
and alotalot more.
-
gosh.
we have like a few more hours with each other as bestmates in the same class;
which makes me think,
next year,
when we go to new classes and make new friends,
will we still be as close to each other,
will we go out and be crazy together without feeling awkward?
(like we do with *****)
i really shouldnt think that much, should i?
-
just promise me,
we must finish our to-do list this year,
get a clique name,
and find our clique item, yeah?
iloveyouguys<3

got back results today,
was a little disappointed,
but i guess that's what you get for last minute studying.
so now, have to pray fervently that i get my triple sci combis.

hm.
screwed up in guitar again today.
and uh.
died while shopping for momentoes.
and love like winter is nice :D
haha.
does that make you happier xl?
lol.

but seriously,
it's nice :D
shall try listening to that screamo song now.
roar.

the reason why i'm online now,
is the iclassic thing
which i've finished the ipod
but not the macbook.

great job christine -.-

i want this:
http://www.silverenchantments.com/wolfcharms.html
(VIVIAN, HINT ON BIRTHDAY PRESENT. haha)
anw.
today was pretty fun :D
CG outing was funny.
and DEBORAH,
CAMWHORE AND BOY CHASING
LOL.
erm.
bernard's sneeze is damn funny,
shunbin scared a cat by walking past it -.-
and uh.
i rock at taboo
HAHA.

okay.
church makes me SPASTIC.
anw.
dropped my phone today,
and it has like 5 new holes on it now ._.

on a lighter note,
I LOVE SIMS 2 :D

training was pretty okay today.
other than my dizzy spells thanks to the stuff i brought,
i pretty much completed PT :D
lol.
i missed our squad X:
and yeah.
sir bingliang (sp?)'s talk was pretty impactful,
like,
what do you want to do for the corp to make us better?
i guess that's a step that instructors have to make.

anw.
the adobe ppl couldnt help me,
so i have to make a trip to their office,
and uh.
i got SIMS 2
haha.
TY VIVIAN <3
ily(:

shall go play now.
lol

i bought my adobe today
and it's not working ._.
DAMN.
and uh.
long john silvers was damn funny.
and pearl, you're a pushover.
LOL.

was talking abt ETP and comparing edward cullen and cedric diggory with amanda.
damn funny.
lol.
apparently,
robert smiles the same way and looks at the camera at the exact same angle.
ROFL.
yeah.
and i almost forgot to get off again today.
and it's all jake's fault X:

haha.
and if theodore goes to ETP,
xl will go to,
so yeah.
waiting for xl and pearl to reply me on msn now ._.

oh.
and i almost forgot to get off the train at woodlands.
cos i was reading new moon,
with my ear phones on,
and it was the part where edward left.
so yeah.
LOL.

today was FUN :D
haha.
i heart clique :D
and i got my twilight magnets.
darn happy.
and amanda and huijun didn't realise they shopped for so long.
lol.
shall wait for pearl to post a damn long post or sth.
byebye xD

my results are screwed,
i have this TINY chance to get 3.2,
which i really need to get triple science.

and my eyes are sore from crying /:
ty to the many ppl to ask me to stop crying.
and uh.
i really hope i get my 3.2.

oh.
and ty to shunbin for makking me happy again.
and kellie for my happy game.

hi.
today's an okay day.
kusu island was smoky.
and yufeng and kaiseng were lame.
and that bernard lim guy was pretty irritating.
but me and yufeng scored pds at concerts :D
haha.
we rock.
and uh.
something happened in the mrt which i dont want to talk abt,
but yeah.
i hope that fucking guy dies horribly.
fullstop.

roar.
i dont want results tmr.
i only have like 7 sch days with my clique D:
promise me we'll go out and do stupid stuff again?

yayee.
i'm 14 :D
haha.
okay.
i shall start thanking ppl.

BIRTHDAY WISHES (by sms/msn in chronological order. i hope)
1. AMOS KWOH. (shocking isn't it. LOL.)
he wished me on 12 oct -.- probably the birthday alarm thing. rofl.

2. Shirley (church)
who wished me yesterday :D
and happy birthday to you tmr xD

3. Shun Bin :D
haha. my CG leader who smsed the earliest today.
lol. practically the only person who smsed me at 12+am.

4. Tabitha (SJ)
who smsed me when she woke up, i guess.
cos it was 6+am LOL.

5. Adeline
i dunno what to say.
cos i dont rmb telling her my birthday.
rofl.

6. Hui Jun
you remembered O:
haha. now you have to rmb my present and wenjing's present.
lmao.

7. XinLei
okay. you're another "O: YOU REMEMBERED" person.
lol.
really not expected, but anw,
you owe me a hell load of presents.
HAHA.

8. Tabitha (church)
:D
(i dunno what to say)

9. Vivien
you remembered earlier than i remembered yours x:
which reminds me,
i still owe you your present,
dont I?

10. Pearl
who actually wished me on thurs,
but technically smsed me today
cos she forgot to bring her phone out this morn -.-
i love the bracelet btw :D

11. Benedick
I HAD NO IDEA YOU HAD MY NUMBER.
haha.
but anw.
TY.
and LOL xD

12. Valerie
who treated me for lunch on tues at newyorknewyork as a present.
haha.
reminds me of when we were back in pri sch and we always went to mcs to celebrate.
lol.
more high class now yeah?

13. Raymond
whom i dont even know,
but came here because of my sis,
and tagged happy birthday,
and i only saw today, so yeah.

BIRTHDAY WISHES (in my face? lol. chrono order as well)
1. my squad :D
who actually forgot -.-
maaaaaaaan.
i hate you guys. lol.

2. XINYI <3
ily :D
for getting me the (limited) twilight dvd.
which would be freaking ex.
haha, and yes,i know you can't kidnap edward cullen for me.
lol.

3. Year 5 mdms and squad
which was damn funny.
cos yufeng kept laughing beside me.

4. church mates :D
um. joanne, shirley, amanda, ann, deborah, um...

5. aunt MingZhen
who brought christle and joven to make a cake for me :D

6. MAMA!
who forgot to wish me happy birthday -.-

7. Christle and Joven
who made me a cake and got me very nice presents.

8. the pizza hut crew at united square.
haha.
cos they brought out my cake and played the happy birthday music.
which was kinda embarassing /:

PRESENTS (in order of time -.-)
1. Mama :D
with my billabong wallet and The Host when i buy it. lol.

2. Granma
with the $50 hongbao.

3. Uncle Patrick & Aunt Siangyee
with the red crumpler <3

4. Valerie
with the newyorknewyork lunch.

5. Pearl
with the very prety charm bracelet

6. Joven
with his very cute card. lol.

7. Xinyi
with her very pretty card :D

8. Amanda (church)
with her very pretty card also xD

9. aunt MingZhen, Joven and Christle
with their handmade ben&jerry's icecream cake O:

10. Joven and Christle
with the 2 Jonas Brothers CDs
even though they got cheated -.-
but still <3

11. Daddy
with his $100 hongbao.

--

okay!
finished thanking the people for now.
lol.
cos still have combined celebration next week with my granma :D
haha.

i feel accomplished.
lol.
i cleared my pre-exam mess,
and cleaned my hamsters,
and did the laundry,
and researched abt the stuff i need to redo my room.
haha.

i want acuvue :D

and i want the days with no cca back ._.

I changed skin :D
and note that to see links and loves/hates and wishlist must click on the headings.
and um.
my tb color is screwed,
so will change it tmr or sth.
it's 15mins to midnight.
gosh.

i'm slacking my life off at home now.
there's like nothing to do at home
(except clear my room /:)
and i'm too sleepy to read twilight.
oh well.
shall google stuff.
bye.

today was pure fun :D
(except for math paper, but whatever)

EXAMS ARE OVER!

and that's the main point of this post,
but anw,
after math paper went to eat new york new york with pearl amanda, huijun and val.
daaaaaaaaaamn funny.
lol.
was choosing what to eat,
then pearl went "the cheesy chicken very nice"
then huijun wanted to eat the ribs thingo,
and in the end everyone ordered the cheesy chicken -.-
and a pizza.
and then the drinks came and huijun was like
"eh got cherry leh" -.-
and alotalot of funny things.
and the cute waiter O:
haha.
and huijun's fave filipino one.
and blahblahblah.
then huijun's "bill please"
LOL.
in the end not enough money -.-
and had to dig out for coins and stuff.

then started talking abt the high service charge
and huijun's "nonono i'm not calling you"
which let us get free candy floss.
lol.
damn funny.
the candy floss was like freaking big.
and amanda started compacting it
and when the waiter serving it to us,
some flew away and got stuck to his armpit
(like armpit hair x:)
rofl.

then went shopping and stuff.
went kino and read beauty manuals o.o and some kiddy mags.
and i saw this really nice article on twilight but didnt buy cos no money ><
so yeah.
will prob go back and buy soon.
anw.
then went to art friends,
and started fooling around.
then amanda made some earthquake sound,
then huijun said "amanda you're making a serious mistake here"
or sth like that.
then the shop assistant come and scold them?
damn funny.
and the shop assistant's laughter is damn scary lah x:
then walk abit more and went home.

and i think this post is very lengthy and boring /:

i screwed up my science,
and is still a bit emo abt it,
but i'm blogging to thank my CG,
esp ShunBin, Bernard and Tabitha for their smses(:

i'm just thinking,
that if i didn't accompany my sis to church a year ago,
where would i be?
my CG has brought about many laughter and fun,
and ilthem :D

(am i sounding like jianming, pearl? X:)

i feel like crap now okay.
i cant stand their mood swings anymore.
it's like they're using me;
being two-faced.
i don't know.
it's sorta like they don't know how teenage feels like;
how exams can make someone go crazy.
and the way that some people have to change themselves to fit in.
it's just...
wrong.
not the way how live should be.

and people changing might not always be for the better.
at least not for the people who know them.

i sorta look forward to church tmr.
hope i can clear my mind and finish science revision by tmr.

and i think math is dead ._.

it is saturday,
and i'm mugging science,
and the male reproductive organ is damn hard to draw,
and i gave up drawing it and came here to blog,
and i think i have to go back and study it now ._.

imma find a job soon.

yayee :D
twilight trailer coming out now on channel 5<3

POST 400 :D
haha.
went out with mama today;
got treated to jack's place
and went shopping for 1/2 hr.

and i think i'm getting a hair styler afterall :DD
Phillips HP 4698
cos it's damn cool
lol.

and i'm gonna go out after exams.
i dont care ._.
i'm gonna shop (even though i'm broke)
and ice skate
and start training for jnco /:

and imma die for hcl tmr.
<(X . X)>

humans are over :D
damn happy.
lol
and i promise myself imma get myself a jonas bros cd and the host.
and if i'm rich enough some american mags xD

and i want to go ice skating

and imma get myself the Twilight Trading cards :D

byebye xD

i'm gonna waste money buying twilight trading cards O:
haha.
rmb i wasted like a few hundred buying w.i.t.c.h. cards with vivien and val.
and we always ran to synthesis (which is sadly gone now) to buy them before supp class.
oh the good times.
lol.

i finished my compo.
which is a good accomplishment to me because i never finished one in the time limit ever since p3.
so yeah.
i would like to thank..
God xD

haha.
ok.
shall finish eating lunch now.

YAY LA'S OVER!
at least the essay part of it is.
now freaking out over the rest of the papers.
and hci finished alr T.T

happy birthday to ashlee simpson btw.
and yayee for her and pete wentz's baby on halloween.
it'll be like damn cool x:

it is 2344.
and i am awake.
reading my essay.
which has 13/20.
which is a B.
which means my LA is officially screwed.
which means if i screw up tommorow my triple science is gone.
which means i have to stay up and read mockingbird.

damn.

Profile

CHRISTINE(:
♥ Edward Cullen
turns older on 18 October
and is currently studying at DHS :D
Child of God
& ♥s her CG (LOL of WEFC)

Loves & Hates

LOVES:

HIM
The Twilight Series
Edward Cullen
Rocking xD
Going to the theatres
Shopping
Being alone in my room
Reading
My Clique♥
My hamsters :D
My Squad(:
House of the Dead 4 X:
My imagination;
My secret world ♥

HATES:

Being interupted when reading
Being lied to
Betrayals
Bitches
The darkness that looms at the edge of happiness