Saturday, May 17, 2008
Have you ever just watched the tide come in?;
slowly, gently, peacefully;
with just one word to describe it: beautiful...
When suddenly,
it comes in in great torrents;
breaking all momentums -
piercing your thoughts, dreams, words.
And then it ends,
and you're surrounded in water;
water in which there was once sand...
So there you sat,
thinking about why the beautiful sight had to end;
why did things have to change into the way that you didn't like them to be...
A light breeze brushed past you,
and you shiver lightly.
You realise it's freezing,
and there was no point in waiting any longer -
he was never going to come.
You gave up,
and stood, slowly,
and start to turn away from the sea,
with a sinking feeling in your heart.
You took small steps to your cabin.
They slowly got bigger.
You feel another breeze,
and the urge to turn around.
You did.
Then you saw it.
The beautiful scene of the sun setting,
in a glorious array of colors;
hanging, ever-so gently, on top of the orange tinted sea.
You sat down again,
now on the cool, smooth sand.
The sun has set,
and the stars shimmered in the sky.
All you hear is the sea,
licking the shore in no specific beats.
It was so peaceful.
You started to drift into subconciousness,
your eyelids start drooping,
sleep came,
slowly, gently, wonderfully.
Then you heard foot steps,
fast, rapid, but still so gentle.
You opened your eyes,
trying to focus on the human figure that was advancing towards you.
It was him.
Your heart skipped a beat;
You rubbed your eyes, and pinched yourself -
you thought it was a dream,
but as you feel the pain on your arm,
you soon found out it wasn't.
"Sorry I'm late,"
you thought you heard him say:
you aren't sure as you were focusing more on his beautiful eyes,
blue as the sea you had seen earlier.
You replied softly,
"it's ok,"
as you felt the tears coming to your eyes -
you were just glad he came;
that he didn't forget the promise he had made a year ago,
before he left to further his studies.
You felt his hands around you,
his voice, suddenly soft, asking you not to cry.
Then the tears came.
You said you missed him,
you told him about everything you had experienced while he was away:
your parents wanting a divorce, your studies detiorating, your life slowly shattering away...
He was quiet for a while,
then he said:
"It's alright now. I'm here for you..."
You buried your head into his shoulders,
feeling warming yourself from the heat radiating from him.
You stopped crying.
He was right.
Things were alright,
now that he was with you.
You took his hand and slowly lead him to your cabin.
You wanted him to tell you everything he had experienced in the past year,
you wanted to forget about your life,
and live in his;
just for the next hour.
And you did.
His life was wonderful compared to yours.
You felt jealous;
yet happy for him.
Both of you talked about everything for what you thought was forever.
It was almost like the old times. Almost.
You realise he, too, had changed,
he had turned more mature, more lovely, more foreign.
You sat silently,
thinking about this new him,
listening to him ramble on about his new girl when the clock struck twelve...
You mumbled a goodnight as he headed to his room that was opposite yours.
You laid tossing and turning on your bed,
his soft snores dangling in the air,
as you thought of the past.
The past where you and him were together,
when he could somehow read your mind and gave you everything you wished for.
The past where nothing else mattered except this special relationship.
The past that ended in him seeing you cheating on him.
Tears started to roll down your cheeks,
and turned into a quiet sob.
It was too much.
You still loved him,
but he seems to have gotten over the past,
and lived a whole new life.
And you suddenly realised that you should too.
You should let go of your past and find a new future,
to seek your own dreams,
and not cling onto the ones you had both decided on when you were young.
You laid,
thinking about everything,
when you drifted to sleep.
The next day you woke up in the darkness,
and you found yourself walking towards the beach.
You sat in the cold sand,
looking as the sea started to retreat,
and the sun start to rise.
The sky turned orange,
then pink,
then purple,
then blue.
You sat thinking about everything that you saw on this beach in the past 24 hours,
and you found yourself wondering,
'Isn't it the way life is?' -
one moment smooth sailing,
like the tide coming in,
first slowly,
then in a gush;
you had the capability to do anything,
and you were sucessful.
You started to get arrogant,
and then,
lady luck decides to leave you.
and you fall,
fall piteously into despair and darkness.
You decide to give up what you once had,
just like the sea had given away its beautiful orange color when the sun had set.
Then you walk away from the failure,
and tried to reflect on your mistakes,
and you saw that you had gained more than you had lost;
just like the way you had turned back,
and saw the sea more beautiful than ever,
with the reflections of the stars in it,
and you started to get comfortable in your new life.
And then something from the past had to reoccur,
and you felt the hurt again,
but beneath the hurt,
there was some sort of nostalgia,
some sort of longing,
some sort of happiness that it was back;
just like the way he had come back to your life,
but in a different way.
You were in a dillemia.
You longed for the past,
but somehow clinged to the future,
just like the way you felt when you were talking to him.
And then you gained a new insight.
You knew that you would never go back to the past,
and thus you had to make the most of your future,
just like the way the sea had welcomed the new dawn into its waters,
and the future looked more beautiful than the past...
You awoke from your thoughts,
and started back to the cabin.
You scrawled a note for him and left it on the fridge.
You packed your bags,
and took one last look at the cabin before leaving for your car.
You drove back to your broken home,
the one that you had left almost a year ago when your family fell apart,
opened the door and shouted "I'm home!"
You were surrounded by your mum and dad,
and tears were flowing uncontrolably.
You had missed them as much as they missed you.
This was your first step to finding your new future...
slowly, gently, peacefully;
with just one word to describe it: beautiful...
When suddenly,
it comes in in great torrents;
breaking all momentums -
piercing your thoughts, dreams, words.
And then it ends,
and you're surrounded in water;
water in which there was once sand...
So there you sat,
thinking about why the beautiful sight had to end;
why did things have to change into the way that you didn't like them to be...
A light breeze brushed past you,
and you shiver lightly.
You realise it's freezing,
and there was no point in waiting any longer -
he was never going to come.
You gave up,
and stood, slowly,
and start to turn away from the sea,
with a sinking feeling in your heart.
You took small steps to your cabin.
They slowly got bigger.
You feel another breeze,
and the urge to turn around.
You did.
Then you saw it.
The beautiful scene of the sun setting,
in a glorious array of colors;
hanging, ever-so gently, on top of the orange tinted sea.
You sat down again,
now on the cool, smooth sand.
The sun has set,
and the stars shimmered in the sky.
All you hear is the sea,
licking the shore in no specific beats.
It was so peaceful.
You started to drift into subconciousness,
your eyelids start drooping,
sleep came,
slowly, gently, wonderfully.
Then you heard foot steps,
fast, rapid, but still so gentle.
You opened your eyes,
trying to focus on the human figure that was advancing towards you.
It was him.
Your heart skipped a beat;
You rubbed your eyes, and pinched yourself -
you thought it was a dream,
but as you feel the pain on your arm,
you soon found out it wasn't.
"Sorry I'm late,"
you thought you heard him say:
you aren't sure as you were focusing more on his beautiful eyes,
blue as the sea you had seen earlier.
You replied softly,
"it's ok,"
as you felt the tears coming to your eyes -
you were just glad he came;
that he didn't forget the promise he had made a year ago,
before he left to further his studies.
You felt his hands around you,
his voice, suddenly soft, asking you not to cry.
Then the tears came.
You said you missed him,
you told him about everything you had experienced while he was away:
your parents wanting a divorce, your studies detiorating, your life slowly shattering away...
He was quiet for a while,
then he said:
"It's alright now. I'm here for you..."
You buried your head into his shoulders,
feeling warming yourself from the heat radiating from him.
You stopped crying.
He was right.
Things were alright,
now that he was with you.
You took his hand and slowly lead him to your cabin.
You wanted him to tell you everything he had experienced in the past year,
you wanted to forget about your life,
and live in his;
just for the next hour.
And you did.
His life was wonderful compared to yours.
You felt jealous;
yet happy for him.
Both of you talked about everything for what you thought was forever.
It was almost like the old times. Almost.
You realise he, too, had changed,
he had turned more mature, more lovely, more foreign.
You sat silently,
thinking about this new him,
listening to him ramble on about his new girl when the clock struck twelve...
You mumbled a goodnight as he headed to his room that was opposite yours.
You laid tossing and turning on your bed,
his soft snores dangling in the air,
as you thought of the past.
The past where you and him were together,
when he could somehow read your mind and gave you everything you wished for.
The past where nothing else mattered except this special relationship.
The past that ended in him seeing you cheating on him.
Tears started to roll down your cheeks,
and turned into a quiet sob.
It was too much.
You still loved him,
but he seems to have gotten over the past,
and lived a whole new life.
And you suddenly realised that you should too.
You should let go of your past and find a new future,
to seek your own dreams,
and not cling onto the ones you had both decided on when you were young.
You laid,
thinking about everything,
when you drifted to sleep.
The next day you woke up in the darkness,
and you found yourself walking towards the beach.
You sat in the cold sand,
looking as the sea started to retreat,
and the sun start to rise.
The sky turned orange,
then pink,
then purple,
then blue.
You sat thinking about everything that you saw on this beach in the past 24 hours,
and you found yourself wondering,
'Isn't it the way life is?' -
one moment smooth sailing,
like the tide coming in,
first slowly,
then in a gush;
you had the capability to do anything,
and you were sucessful.
You started to get arrogant,
and then,
lady luck decides to leave you.
and you fall,
fall piteously into despair and darkness.
You decide to give up what you once had,
just like the sea had given away its beautiful orange color when the sun had set.
Then you walk away from the failure,
and tried to reflect on your mistakes,
and you saw that you had gained more than you had lost;
just like the way you had turned back,
and saw the sea more beautiful than ever,
with the reflections of the stars in it,
and you started to get comfortable in your new life.
And then something from the past had to reoccur,
and you felt the hurt again,
but beneath the hurt,
there was some sort of nostalgia,
some sort of longing,
some sort of happiness that it was back;
just like the way he had come back to your life,
but in a different way.
You were in a dillemia.
You longed for the past,
but somehow clinged to the future,
just like the way you felt when you were talking to him.
And then you gained a new insight.
You knew that you would never go back to the past,
and thus you had to make the most of your future,
just like the way the sea had welcomed the new dawn into its waters,
and the future looked more beautiful than the past...
You awoke from your thoughts,
and started back to the cabin.
You scrawled a note for him and left it on the fridge.
You packed your bags,
and took one last look at the cabin before leaving for your car.
You drove back to your broken home,
the one that you had left almost a year ago when your family fell apart,
opened the door and shouted "I'm home!"
You were surrounded by your mum and dad,
and tears were flowing uncontrolably.
You had missed them as much as they missed you.
This was your first step to finding your new future...
what we could have been, 9:14 PM.
